Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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