His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
