kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
