...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
