Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
