Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize