he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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