There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
