Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your penis caused this!
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