i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
