i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
