i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize