atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
