why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
