OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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