Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
