Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
