We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
