I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
