So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
