Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize