Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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