please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
