there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize