Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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