why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
