i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
