I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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