I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
