69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
