I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize