Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its not stalking. its research.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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