I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
