you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
