We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
