I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
