Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
