gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
