She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
