Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
