Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize