I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
