He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
