Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize