She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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