I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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