Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
