someone get that fucking seahorse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
