that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I will pee on everything he values.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
