morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
