last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
