It's just like the Real World with babies
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
