I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize