i can't believe i had my finger in that
honey bunches of taint.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
