i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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