Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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