He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
