They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
