On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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