How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Im part way to drunk.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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