Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
