Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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