Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
barbara walters just said penis...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize