Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All the doctor said was why
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
