Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize