You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
