I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
