just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i came on her dog
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh god it's open bar.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize